Birthday of an icon

The Golden Gate Bridge turned 75 yesterday.  We headed out to Tank Hill to watch the fireworks last night.  The fog looked to be rolling in, but luckily it didn't spoil the show, which really was quite spectacular.  It was, however, FREEZING (we just returned from a camping trip and we still thought it was ridiculously cold) and WINDY.  But the rowdy crowd and great show and spontaneous group singing made it worth the trip.

The house next to Tank Hill had a fire pit in the back yard, and I was thinking that view, plus s'mores right at home, would be just about the perfect way to watch fireworks.

Here are some great shots of the awesome show (we didn't get any good ones).  As we were heading home, Grace said "Just like my birthday!  Except no cakes and cupcakes because bridges don't have mouth-es." (That's mouths with two syllables.)

A new humiliation

The latest Graceism...

Grace: Why? (or asks some kind of question).

Me:  I don't know.

Grace:  Think!  Think about it!

This happens many times a day, pretty much anytime I disappoint her with an "i don't know."  It makes me feel awesome.

Grace often goes on to say things like "Come on!  Just think.  Think!  Try to think! Think, Mommy, just think."

On Mothering

It's hard to believe that it has been three years since Grace and I were discharged from the hospital on Mother's Day when she was hardly more than 48 hours old.  We were off to a pretty rocky start (in retrospect I'm increasingly convinced she had colic; I meet these newborns who don't cry but just sleep all the time and I'm like really?  they actually sleep all the time?  and they don't have screaming fits by which you could set the clock?) and I kind of wanted to punch all the people in the hospital who wished me a happy Mother's Day.  But we've made it three years and I once again think Mother's Day is a nice holiday, not one that brings out my violent streak.  It's also the kind of holiday that makes me a bit reflective and this is what has been on my mind today...

1.  I'm not going to articulate this as well as I would like to and certainly not as clearly as it is in my head, but I'll try.  I've often heard but until recently didn't really understand how parenthood gives me a greater understanding of God's unconditional love for us.  I fail regularly in so many ways, but God is patient with me and let's me keep trying, keep failing and He still forgives.  Not only does this give me a profoundly deeper faith perspective, it reminds me what patience really means as a parent.  Grace is going to try my patience every day, and not only do I need to be patient and compassionate, I need to keep supporting and teaching and guiding her without anger (or at least I need to keep a hold of myself and my frustration).  Nope, didn't manage to express it as I'd hope to.

2.  My mom is wonderful.  I am incredibly lucky to have a mother who was present, attentive, and always working hard to have good relationships with her children.  Every parent-child relationships has ups and downs and no parents or children are perfect, but I am incredibly blessed to have a mom who has bolstered me when I've needed it, has laughed, played, cried and just been there.  I can still text her to reassure me that my flat iron has an auto off switch, call for emergency cooking help, and ask her to spend her vacation time taking care of my child.  And everything in between.  Mom, you are the best.  

3.  Not only am I blessed with an awesome mom, I have an amazing husband.  I would not have him if it weren't for his mother.  So a huge thank you, love-filled Happy Mother's Day to Carolyn!  

4.  I have the best daughter and husband and the little ways they celebrated me this weekend are also wonderful celebrations of our family.  Steve got me beautiful flowers and Grace made me cards as well as a very sweet art project at school.  These are such appreciated gestures, but cliched as it may be, spending time with the two of them is definitely all I need.  

Here are a handful of photos from our Mother's Day hike and dinner at Patxi's...

 

 On the way back down on our hike, Steve was joking about how quickly I caught up with him and Grace when they had gotten ahead of me, and he said "wow, you're fast - like a gazelle! Or a cheetah!"  Grace thought that was hilarious and decided they should run ahead of me and started yelling as she ran "We have to run! Run from the cheating Mommy!"  Over and over again.  Steve tried to correct her and I just hope that no one else could understand what she was saying...

Birthday

We had Grace's birthday party on Saturday.  Since it was May 5 and Steve loved the inflatable cactus at the party store, we went with a Cinco de Mayo theme.  Plus, that meant we could do a piñata!  The pictures from the party are here.  Unfortunately, we were distracted and didn't manage to take very many pictures, especially few good ones.  Oh well - it was fun!

Grace had a blast.  She was so excited to have so many friends and family in one place, especially a place with candy, cupcakes, and ice cream.  We ended up with one of those amazing warm days that are rare in San Francisco so everyone seemed in an extra celebratory mood.  I had gotten a bunch of bubbles, balls and noisemakers for the kids to play with and they ran around like wild monkeys.  Then, we went for the piñata... the kids didn't quite get it and couldn't really hit it hard enough, but they had fun trying.  We had enlisted Uncle Hilary and Scott to hold the piñata so finally we turned the bat over to Scott to break it.  Well, one cheap bat and alarmed child who got hit with the flying pieces, we had a broken bat and an intact piñata.  Grace freaked out because she didn't want the piñata to break.  Then the candy fell out and everyone was happy.

We're so lucky that her friends all have lovely families and that we have such wonderful friends and family who care about our baby girl and take the time to celebrate with us.  After the party, I asked Grace what her favorite part was and she said "seeing everyone!"    

And here are a few pictures from the birthday girl on her birthday... candles in her ice cream.

Three

Grace will be three tomorrow.

I had no idea how emotional birthdays were for parents until I became one.  Each year (granted, we only have an n of three) I sort of dread the week leading up to Grace's birthday.  I'm glad that she's having the birthday, of course, and I love to see how she's growing and changing, but the approaching birthday reminds me how quickly Grace is growing up and makes me think of all the times I've screwed up.  So, it's a little bittersweet to watch her go from two to three, especially because three is so decidedly far from babyhood.

What I should have been doing during the last few weeks when I was feeling ambivalent about her birthday is writing down all the little things I want to remember about Grace on the cusp of turning three.  Instead I'm going to try to recall it all now and will inevitably forget a lot of things I want to remember.

Tonight after her bath, Grace put her towel over her head and ran around calling herself "Super Gracie!"

Her favorite meal is, without question, pastaandchickanuggets (said very fast), although she does like a few other foods.  I asked her recently what to put on the grocery list and without pausing she said "pasta and artichokes and chicken nuggets and tomatoes." She loves artichokes.  She also loves ice cream and chocolate.

Her favorite colors are purple and pink (more purple than pink).  She calls dresses "princesses".  She's really into Snow White.  But, so far, she doesn't have too much of a princess obsession (whew).

I think her favorite books are Green Eggs and Ham and Good King Wenceslas, and she also loves to look for goldbug in her Richard Scarry book.  

Her favorite word/question/phrase/conversation is "why?"

She loves to go to the park, play in the sand and have us chase her around, a game she calls "get me."  Her best friend is Alli, but she really loves her group of friends from school and our family friends.  

She loves to be a big girl, but she also loves to play that she's a baby.  I think her favorite game is school and she likes to march around or sing and play instruments like Teacher Gayle (the music teacher at school).  

She sings non-stop.  She will turn almost anything into a song and begs us to read her books as songs.  Currently her favorite song is "Shake It Out" by Florence and the Machine (although she gets mad at the beginning, before the chorus and yells "this is NOT my favorite song!").  

She loves Blues Clues and Sesame Street.  She's kind of impossible to watch a movie with because she asks what is going on and why constantly (I don't know if this is age or because she's just like her father who cannot stand not knowing what is going on/hates surprises).

She loves to play in the bathtub and pretend to be at swimming class and be "Teacher Katy" (one of her swim teachers is Katy).

She hates to have wet sleeves or a wet shirt and often insists on changing if her shirt gets wet.  She does not like to have her hair brushed but will at least now let us do a pony tail sometimes.  She is still a very early riser, although better since we got her a clock that tells her she can get up when the bunny wakes up (TG for Aunt Lindee for telling us about it).  She's still napping pretty well, but certainly flirting with not napping.  

She does not like to be admonished or get into trouble. When she does, she will say "don't say no to me!" or "don't talk to me like that!"  Last week one day she got so mad that laid down in the middle of the kitchen floor, put her head in her arms and said "leave me alone!  I need pridacy! (privacy)"  2 going on 13!  I had to stifle a giggle in telling her to go be in her room if she wanted to be alone.  

She is laid back much of the time but she also has incredible mood swings.  She can change from happiest, most joyful and cooperative kid one minute to maddest, brattiest, angriest kid in about two seconds.  It an be exhausting.  

I have heard that three is really hard, harder than two because three year olds have such an independent streak.  I keep wondering how she could possibly get more independent.  But I suppose we ought to buckle in.  She's already so independent and strong-willed and opinionated.  I recently asked the mother of one of Grace's three year old friends how she handles it and she said it's all about picking her battles and giving in when it clearly will make a big difference for her daughter to feel like she got some say.  I struggle with this because I really want to be consistent - if I say it, I mean it and no amount of whining will get Grace her way.  So I need to find a happy medium on this one... we do a lot of compromises.  It's kind of hilarious because now Grace will ask for a compromise (sometimes on really non-compromisable matters) and will bargain with us, telling us she'll do what we want in "4 minutes".  

I think the most amazing thing about this age is finding out just how much is happening inside her head. She has such an extensive vocabulary coupled with curiosity and awareness of the world so now we have fascinating insight into how she's learning about the world around her.

The new parenting challenge?  Answering all those why questions... why did the queen want to hurt Snow White?  Why do we ride the bus?  Why do we make lunches for people who don't have food?  Why do the babies have swimming before me?  Why this, why that... coming up with explanations that nurture curiosity and convey our values on topics from the mundane to the intense takes a lot of patience and creativity and patience.

This is such a long post.  There's just so much to reflect upon as I watch that amazing, adorable, and funny girl grow.   

Birthday party pictures tomorrow (or soon... if I don't get to them tomorrow it's because I had to spend all my free moments cuddling Grace and panicking about how soon the time will come that I can't hold her anymore).

Grace has started to get interested in games and likes to get them out and play with the pieces and make up her own rules.  She went for chess recently...  Steve loves chess and I never seem to be able to remember the rules.  He might now have met his match!  It's long, but the dialogue is pretty funny. 

An Easter message from Grace

Easter may be long over in pop culture, but it's still the Easter season in the church calendar.  One recent Sunday, I took Grace to the children's liturgy (they do activities related to the gospel geared toward preschoolers so the rest of the congregation can listen to and actually hear the liturgy).  The kids' activity was to make a collage about Jesus rising and leaving the tomb empty.

We returned to sit with Steve for the rest of mass, and Grace showed Steve her picture.  He asked her to tell him about it, and she explained, "Jesus was all gone!"

I guess that's more or less the right message...