All for all

A while back a friend, also with a daughter and a son, posted something on fb about rape (and the old bs about asking for it) and educating boys on gender, power and violence issues. We agreed that as parents of children of both sexes, we have the great opportunity to work this issue from both sides.

I was thinking about that again while watching EmmaWatson's speech at the UN. Sure, this offers a good counterpoint, and while watching, I too was unhappy with the statement ""We don't often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that they are, and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence." That sounds like trickle down gender equality, which seems awfully patriarchal (and nonsensical) to me. But I don't think that was her intent, so nuance aside, her remarks are an awesome call to arms to embrace feminism, especially to a generation that seems to really find that a dirty word. My own friends don't seem to be so negative about the word (or maybe it's just that my female friends are all such fabulous, sophisticated, thoughtful people that they see the utter absurdity of statements like "i believe in equality but i don't like the word feminism.").

So back to parenting and my kids. I am hyper aware of the gender stereotypes I project onto Grace and try (failing often) to counteract these biases. I am probably less vigilant with Henry, maybe because at some level  male stereotypes are perceived as less damaging. People always call Grace "cute and sweet" and Henry "tough". They are both all of those things and many more. And as parents of a daughter and a son, Steve and I have the opportunity to raise tough, sweet, strong, caring, ambitious, respectful, active, sensitive people. PEOPLE.

First day of Kindergarten

Words fail me. She loves it so far.

New England Vacation: Part 3

The final part of our lobster and ice cream tour of Maine was in Kennebunkport. We had been looking for a house rental or something interesting and tripped over a hotel in Kennebunkport with great reviews as a family resort. Steve kept calling it the "Dirty Dancing" hotel because it looked to be that old New England style place with activities for kids. We weren't sure if it would great or washed-up, and it turned out to be terrific. A charming old place with plenty of character right on the river. There was a giant lawn with activities - bean bag toss, basketball, ping pong, and an activity tent for kids, plus a pool, poolside bar, and adirondack chairs overlooking the river. The kids were entertained for hours (we had to drag them inside) and we could just relax while they played - coffee on the lawn in the morning, drinks in the evening overlooking the river. And the many families were very mellow and friendly. We would love to go back, but probably won't have the opportunity before we move (assuming we move, which is likely).

The first evening was hot, and we walked into town for - lobster rolls and also had the most amazing lemonade we've ever had. Ever. After dinner of course we had to stop for ice cream on the patio. What's better than sitting outside on a hot summer evening, eating ice cream and people watching? The walk between the hotel and town was about ten minutes along the river and past quaint houses.

After (delicious) breakfast, ping pong (Steve and me), playing in the fairy house (Henry), crafts (Henry and Grace), and face-painting (Grace), we took our coffee and walked along the ocean. We were looking for a lighthouse that we never found, but it was so pretty and we did see the Bush compound. Grace asked all about it and really wanted to ask the guard if she could meet the former president. She then pushed hard for Steve or me to run for president. It's a lot to try to explain to a five year old with a fuzzy understanding of the nation-state concept.

Steve and Grace climbed out on the rocks.

 It all looked pretty benign.

And then, oops...

 They got drenched.

Steve thought it was funny. I found it hilarious. Grace was not amused.

Spent the afternoon by the pool and playing bean bag toss.

Henry had forgotten to nap, and he's at the most difficult age for restaurants, but Steve and I really wanted to go to a restaurant we had read about. We kept him awake as long as possible, and then he fell asleep just in time for us to enjoy most of our meal (lobster and fried clams!) and have a conversation. We love him, but his manners are wanting so now and then it's nice to not have to wrestle with him while dining.

 

And he was lovely company on the way home (after he devoured his dinner - we did feed him).

 

And then he was up so early! I guess he wanted special time with me, hanging out in the lobby and climbing up and down the porch steps (where we met a woman from Quebec who told me that her toddler son attends a daycare that runs from 3pm to 1 am because it's geared toward families with parents who are doctors, nurses, law enforcement, and in the restaurant business) and because it's government subdized, is $7 per day. She was kind enough to warn me that I may not want to know...).

Pajamas and crocs are the look for the one year old set.

Steve and Grace joined a kayak tour. I had a coffee and read for 20 minutes while Henry was asleep in the stroller. It was kind of amazing. I should have taken a picture.

One final stop to ensure we tested all the ice cream flavors.

It was such a good trip. As soon as we walked in the door at home, Grace collapsed in a heap, sobbing, because she wanted to go back to the hotel because it was so fun. However, we did learn that coming home on the Friday before a three day weekend makes for a great end to vacation. We caught up with friends, spent an afternoon having brazillian bbq (steve's favorite thing in the world, i think), and did some final summer in Boston stuff (splash pool, carousel, fireworks on the harbor) before buckling down for the new school year. I then took Tuesday and Wednesday off to be with Grace since school started Thursday - we hit the pool and library and got hair cuts and just eased back into real life (ok, well,  i haven't quite embraced it yet).

Oh, Maine, I liked you before, but now I think I love you. I'm ready to go back.

New England Vacation: Part 2

Our fourth day at Acadia started with a trip up Cadillac Mountain (well, truth be told, our day really started with trying to keep small children quiet during campground quiet hours, sipping coffee under the tree canopy, and letting said children run amok once loud hours started). Funny to think that Steve and I hiked to the top of Cadillac in 2008... yea, we drove this time. But, there was fun scrambling at the summit with a wonderful view of the islands, ocean, and maybe Nova Scotia.

The babies were lazy and rode in packs most of the time, but the big kids had loads of fun scrambling ahead of us...

After our hike (so to speak), we decided to try a round of minigolf/putt-putt near Bar Harbor. I think this was to settle a score from Niagara Falls in 2007... but it turned to total chaos. Somehow our four sweet children multiplied to about a dozen, still sweet, children. Grace and Bjorn kept running ahead to other holes, anytime an adult was possibly maybe going to hit a ball into a hole, a five year old stuck their foot in its path or a one year old picked up. Henry and Elsa found all the water obstacles - chucking balls, their baby clubs, or nearly themselves into the water. At one point, I was carrying Henry, the camera, the diaper bag, three clubs, and had four golf balls in my pocket. I think I actually played three holes. We did not keep score.

Nevertheless, it was a GREAT time.

Grace ,who has asked to have her photo taken approximately zero times, eagerly pleaded to have her picture taken with this guy.

He looks like he's grasping the fundamentals...they just happen to be the fundamentals of toddler putt putt, a different game entirely.

After mini golf, we headed back to nature... after possibly comparing ice cream shops in town. We went tide pooling on a spit that connects an island off Bar Harbor with the mainland at low tide. I was reminded of checking out all the mussels and crabs on the rocky beaches of northwest Washington as a kid, and it was weird to realize that Grace really hasn't experienced that before. We did find some tiny fish and crabs. It was a beautiful evening - warm, calm water, beautiful scenery. And, look at me being involved, sciency-mom!

We spent the final evening at camp making s'mores, trying to keep babies out of fire, running around the campground like hooligans, and star-gazing at the abundant stars that peeked through the trees. I cannot imagine what the stars would have looked like if there weren't trees. I remember many an evening as a child looking up at the night sky, seeing so many stars. Now, having lived in major urban areas for most of the last 17 years, I have all but forgotten that one can actually see stars. I digress... the point is: melty marshmallows, beer, friends, woods, stars. 

The morning of our final day, our tent roused early to go back up Cadillac Mountain for sunrise. For most of the year, Cadillac Mountain is the first place on the east coast to be touched by sunlight/sunrise. We had to go - to Steve it was the bookend experience to seeing the sunrise over the Hawaiian Islands at Haleakala. This may be blasphemy, but I much preferred the Cadillac Mountain experience - much shorter drive and NOT freezing. I know, who knew, sunrise on Maui = freezing, sunrise in Maine = quite pleasant. I just kept thinking I should go into business with a coffee truck for tourists at the top. Aren't I a purist about these wild wonders? Actually, if there wasn't a road to the top and hordes of people, I would be more of a naturalist about it all, but as it was I accosted some newlyweds to find out where they had gotten their coffee, and their answer of "from the hotel room" was not acceptable. 

So anyway, SUNRISE - it was gorgeous. I was being the supportive wife, staying in the car with the sleeping kiddos while Steve took his photos, but they woke up just in time and we dashed over to see as well. Henry was bewildered and Grace didn't like the wind, but look at this... they will thank us one day. Or not.

On the way back, we finally got a photo of the charming harbor we had drive past several times (I believe it was called Seal Harbor). We did stop for coffee, and I asked the man in the shop a bit about the area. He said that after Labor Day the place is completely empty, many of the locals work as caretakers of vacation properties, and they get so much snow that they have to truck it out. I am guessing it's similar to the Cape and Islands in MA - real poverty in the off season, but essentially invisible to the hordes of tourists during the summer.

I love a beach/harbor in the wee hours.

We tried to get a group shot of the children before saying goodbye. 

This is the best we could do... one of the children, nameless for now, learned just how far down it was from the top of the picnic table.

Oh, it was hard to leave Acadia and say goodbye to the Jensens. Luckily, our children slept for much of the drive to Brunswick, most of it along country roads (again with the juxtaposition of beautiful vacationland and rural poverty - i'm a killjoy aren't I. Do you think the Maine tourism board would hire me?).

Big treat - Rach, Nate, et al. had just moved back to Maine the week before our trip, so we stopped by for a visit with Rachel and the kids en route to Kennebunkport. We missed seeing Nate, but it was so good to catch up with Rachel, see how the girls have grown, and finally meet sweet Sam (who apparently I don't have a handy picture of - too bad because he is CUTE). Too short, but we will be back!

Will post about the final few days soon!