Interesting because I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Actually, I try very hard to leave my phone alone at a restaurant or when interacting with friends. Plus, I'm not much for the selfie, anyway, since I always look ridiculous. A while back we went out for dinner and there was a family nearby - two parents and a tween. They hardly spoke to each other while the parents looked at their phones and the kid just sat there, maybe colored on the kids menu. Steve and I were both a bit wide-eyed, vowing not to become them.
But, I also pick up my phone like a twitch. The problem, in part, is that my phone contains my work email so I check with some frequency to make sure I'm not missing something that i need to respond to quickly... on the one hand, nothing is truly an emergency. On the other hand, I have a flexible schedule and telecommute so part of what allows me to be at the playground with my kids at midday is that I can also be in touch with work. This was the case even before I was fully telecommuting - I could get out the door for a 5PM pick up most days instead of later by remaining available. But anyway, my phone also has my texts, which is how I communicate with Steve during the day as needed, and how I set up most play dates. It also has my grocery lists and to do lists. It's my NPR, my book, and my clock. So, if I open my phone when I remember I need butter next time I go to Costco, it's very easy to realize I need to set a reminder ot return the library books, which reminds me that I need to check for anything overdue, which reminds me that I wanted to put something on reserve, so I then try to remember what that kids book recommendation was, so I pop over to Goodreads, and then get a text suggesting a trip to the park, but I'm not sure what time Steve will be home so I text him, and then I check the weather to see if we should take jackets, but then he texts back and also tells me his schedule has changed for an upcoming weekend so I go to my calendar to check if we have anything planned, then get an email about something at work and I realize I need a reminder to do something else, so I'm back to reminders and realize I've just spent a whole bunch of time not "in the moment".
On the one hand, this way I can be in multiple moments at once and juggle a bunch of things without having to be sitting at a desk at home and keeping a zillion lists. We get out more because I can do all this stuff from anywhere. But I also do stuff that I probably don't to do right this minute because I can and have gone down the interwebs rat hole. There must a balance, and I suppose each of us has to find it ourselves.
Even before seeing this, though, I had been trying to leave my phone alone. I deleted the facebook app a while back because really, if someone I care about posts something important I will find it. I don't care what that guy I went to grad school with ate for lunch. And despite my reduced Facebook consumption, I have learned the word "tweak" this week along with everyone else.
Yesterday Becky and I took the kids to the park near her house. Grace and Eli were being ridiculously cute playing on one of the toys. I reached for my phone to take a picture and remembered I had left it in her house. She hadn't brought hers either, and I made a comment about how we were just going to have to live in the moment. This morning on another playdate the kids were having a blast and being cute, but my phone was inside and we were sitting in the yard chatting and holding the babies. I will have to remember these moments the old fashioned way. And that's okay, even good, right?
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