Step back and take a deep breath

After Grace had a bath last night, I started getting into her " 'jamas." She decided she wanted put them on herself, or "No, I do ma-sef!" She struggled for a bit, getting her foot stuck but eventually got the pants lined up with only one or two attempted interventions from Steve and me, which were loudly rejected. "I do ma-seffff!"

Then, she picked up her pajama shirt and started pulling it on over her legs and upside down. When we tried to suggest she put it over her head because it was a shirt, she yelled "No! Jamas!" I'm not sure if she was confused because she normally wears one piece pjs with feet or if she just had her own ideas about how to put it on. Once she got the upside down shirt up to her waist, she realized she couldn't put her arms in the sleeves, so she pulled it off. I thought we were at the a ha moment when she would let me help her put her shirt over her head, but boy was I wrong. She turned the shirt around and pulled it up over her legs again, but still got stuck without her arms in the sleeves. She wasn't terribly concerned as she took off to climb into my bed and hide from me behind the pillows (I was not chasing her; in fact, I was exercising great restraint in not chasing her down to put the shirt on properly).

Watching her struggle and try again and be so adamant that she do it herself was a challenge as I'm sure every parent reading this knows. She wanted to learn and do it herself. I wanted to help her, to show her, to guide her as she figured it out. I also wanted her to just get her pjs on so we could move on to eating cupcakes and reading some bedtime stories. But how important is it that a toddler wear her pajamas properly? How important are those extra ten minutes? And how important is it that she figure it out herself, know that I respect her ability to problem solve and master new tasks as well as know that I will help when she needs it or if she asks? I know this is a balance we will continue to navigate and the answers won't always be the same. I often hear parents say that they learn more about themselves from being a parent than they think they teach their children. I so see that as I try to determine what she needs, how much to intervene and how to be patient when she screams at me for trying to get her to put her shirt on over her head.

Eventually, she was playing with Steve while I did something else and he got her to put her shirt over her head... but not without screaming. Oh, we all say that in the long-run, the feisty and strong-willed perseverance is good, but in the near term, in the getting from the car to the apartment with five sacks of groceries term, those same traits will drive us nuts!