Finally. Lean in? Or, lean in! You decide...

Weeks ago, an old friend posted a link to Sheryl Sandberg's TED talk (here).  I opened the link and then let it sit, goading me because for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to watch it.  It's not like I didn't have the time - it's the perfect length to watch while nursing.  I think it was more of a mental barrier.

I had read about her book with some ambivalence when it came out (although I will read it whenever I come up on the library hold queue).  I was vaguely aware that something was keeping me from watching it.  I suppose that the end of pregnancy, facing maternity leave and a move for personal reasons that involves sort of leaving a job I really like at a time when I'm having great success, made me feel like I was doing the opposite of "leaning in", and I didn't really want her message to make me feel more confused about it all.

I finally sucked it up and figured that to be informed and form my own opinion, I ought to take 15 minutes of my life and watch the darn thing.  And you know what?  I was inspired.  I don't think she's totally out of touch (as I feared a would, a la a certain other high profile Silicon Valley exec who recently became a parent).  I also realized that being annoyed at women who are pushing working mom messages because I'm still trying to figure out my own balance and goals is the opposite of what moms (actually, PARENTS) should be doing, which is supporting one another in different choices at different phases.  I also was really surprised at many of the stats she cited, although I would love to see a reference list to dig a little deeper and understand the impact of SES on some of the findings.  Presumably her book will have this

I was also reminded why I love working outside the home and that, in a few months, I'm excited to go back (remotely), although I'm loving the time off now and can't wait for "summer vacation" with Grace.  I believe I'm a better mom because I get time to miss my kid(s) (haven't left Henry yet but I assume I will miss him).  I get to interact with adults and be valued for something that has nothing to do with my husband or children.  I feel like my marriage is more balanced because we both contribute financially, to parenting and at home (and can I say again how much of a rock star Steve is about parenting and housework?!  It will be hard next year when his call schedule and work hours are a nightmare again, but when he's home he's always doing something that benefits the whole family - we both pull the "second shift" around here).  It's not for everyone, and both of us working full-time is a bit too much for our situation given commutes, the nature of our work, schedules, etc., but it's good for us.

All this is a long-winded way of saying, watch the video.  Form your own opinion.  I think everyone - men and women, early or late career, parents or not - will find something interesting in it.