In theory, I work three full days a week and then spend some time the other days keeping up with email and working on my deliverables. My thinking was that this would give me flexibility. And it does, but not quite the flexibility I need, especially given east coast/west coast time change. I think I could manage the balance better if it was possible to have part-time daycare every day or a varied schedule with a nanny, but those aren't options. And so I live in this slightly-crazed state of every day being a bit different (and sometimes I forget that it's a three hour time change, not four, despite constantly making this calculation. Imagine my panic when I was heading into Costco at 10AM and realized that 8:30 in CA is 11:30 in MA, not 12:30! I still had to shop, fight the construction detour, get home and unload the groceries, park and unload Henry, and get him settled before my call. Then I started getting calls about the 11:30 meeting while I was trying to finish shopping. Good thing all Costcos are laid out the same and I could shop there in my sleep and that my colleagues are ALWAYS late). So anyway, this week, when I had a conference call starting at the same time as Grace's early dismissal for parent-teacher conferences, the day after I had a four hour conference call while Henry was home because it wasn't a daycare day, I realized that this is the price of a relatively flexible schedule. I may be able to juggle really well some days/weeks, and even run a load of laundry during work, but other weeks I will be needed in several places at once. At least pumping is simpler when there's no traipsing conspicuously to a "lactation room" (among the more terrible terms in the mom-lexicon).
I had thought, before school started, that mornings would be nuts. They certainly were in San Francisco with all three of us running around trying to make the bus. The fact that I don't have to get myself ready (although showering before Steve leaves for work is the foundation of a successful day for me) makes a big difference. Clean disaster is my current style. However, since both my kids are early risers (this will mean they get lots of worms one day, right?!), mornings are ok. We're not rushed when we have almost two hours to get ready. We can read and draw and enjoy breakfast together. I even braid Grace's hair! Then we walk to Grace's school, drop her off, and trek over to Henry's school on daycare days. I hurry home and try to land at my desk in time to get a few quiet hours of work in before California wakes up and I have to start talking to people and answering email.
The end of the day is the problem... I'm always trying to finish something up or get off the phone in time to rush to daycare, round up Henry and his gear, then hurry to Grace's school. Both kids are generally hungry and then freaking-out starving by the time we get home (there are healthy snacks involved, but still). If we're lucky, Steve has come in the door a bit ahead of us and gotten whatever is for dinner into the microwave (there is NO cooking on work nights anymore). If we're not lucky or he's on call, I scramble to get food for Grace and me and nurse Henry before he's all out wailing. It's hectic but I am glad that we sit down to eat together. I love hearing about Grace's day and having a few moments of peace together (peace is relative). Then, baths, books, bottle, bed. It's a whirlwind, and then I think - geez, I barely saw them today. Grace has been so exhausted because she refuses to sleep past 6AM and her school doesn't have naptime. I keep thinking I should get her to bed even earlier, but she's barely home for an hour before going to bed as it is. Her insufficient sleep is a great source of guilt for me right now but I can't get her to sleep any later (Henry wakes her and although she's fine in the middle of the night if he cries, after 5AM she can't/won't go back to sleep). Not sure what to do but hope that it will pass. DREADING the end of daylight savings because the changeover is going to exacerbate this for a while.
Despite the chaos of my job's flexibility, it's also a boon because I can usually pick Grace up mid-afternoon two days a week. Sometimes we do a playdate, sometimes we run fun errands like going to the library, sometimes we just head home for downtime. It gives a little relief, but I also want to tear my hair out when I have to take a work call on those afternoons. While Grace is at school on my "non-work" days, Henry and I usually run errands that require getting the car from the garage, maybe have a baby playdate, do housework. I'm also learning that despite my penchant for over scheduling, I have to leave one of the days without anything planned or I will wind up feeling overwhelmed and desperately wishing for a cancellation (sorry my friend was sick today, but I got this post written! And I'm not rushing anywhere!).
I'm not really complaining (or at least not meaning to). I know I am living the dream by having a good, part-time job. And I'm getting a minimum of four miles of walking each day, which I love. We all know the juggling act of a busy family and I'm just getting the kinks worked out of our new situation (read: figuring out how to survive without becoming a screaming banshee). I also realize that infancy is short, and before we know it, Henry will be a toddler and everything will look different. I feel wild-eyed and crazed 90% of the time these days, but soon these will be the good old days, right?
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