2) Attempt to placate baby with pacifier, faux hospital id (absolute favorite toy, will maul father to find it - normal apparently as pedi's kids do too), and other typically forbidden toys. Fail at placation as infant thrashes and rolls over, sits up, grabs everything in reach, throws things, screams.
3) Move to floor and remove diaper from now standing baby. Cross fingers there are no showers as nudist begins to cruise or crawl away.
4) Attempt to get one side of diaper fastened, but fail, so try other side. If it's evening, call for reinforcements. Each parent takes a side of diaper and, working quickly, maybe gets diaper crookedly fastened.
5) Rest while baby scampers off without pants, giggling hysterically.
6) Wrangle baby for clothing. Again, if it's evening, both parents grab baby and wrestle into pajamas, limb by limb. Baby wriggles and screams until joint effort at snapping pajamas ends when parents concede it's not necessary all be fastened for baby to sleep. If it's daytime and reinforcements are not available, cling to kicking, hollering baby and put one pant leg on, then attempt second leg before first is kicked off. Fail. Alternate legs for a while.
7) Eventually get baby dressed. Rest. Realize why you are not going through diapers as quickly as you used to. Wonder how long till potty training and how you will manage as child grows.
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