Bookshelf: Opting In

I just finished Opting In by Amy Richards. Richards also coauthored Manifesta, which I think was intended to be a feminist manifesto for my generation. I read part of it, but didn't finish it. Opting In is supposed to explore women's choices and feelings surrounding motherhood from a contemporary feminist perspective. I wanted to like it, I really did. Instead, I kept finding myself aggravated with the circular logic, hypocrisy, and plain ignorance (i.e. quoting someone else who referred to hospitalists as "specialists in nothing" without learning or explaining that they are actually board certified internists who focus on inpatient medicine; but i digress!). She criticizes two writers I like - Lisa Belkin and Caitlin Flanagan - but to me, makes the same "mistakes" she would fault them for. Her conclusions are in no way systematic and the "evidence" is anecdotal. Anecdotal evidence is fine; just don't use it while criticizing others for doing the same and acknowledge it's limitations. Further, I found it a little hard to find the point. A lot of important points are raised, but I didn't find them integrated in a coherent narrative or argument. She would probably suggest that my frustration with the book is a sign of my ambivalence about feminism. She may be right, but it's just that attitude, which seemed to pervade the book, that annoyed me. Nevertheless, I'm glad I read it - it broadened my perspective. And in fact, it reminded me that when I hung out with a stay at home dad last week not to fetishize his experience or ask him how hard it is for his wife to be away from the baby since I probably wouldn't ask that of any of my mom-friends. So, I guess the book made me a better person.