New Millennium Motherhood: Spring Break

Grace was out of school the last week of March, which nicely coincided with the start of my maternity leave. I was eager to have a last few days just the two of us. I was pretty exhausted and in pain so did something I never do well - I didn't over plan. Since most of our friends were either not off work or on vacation, we kept the days to ourselves. And it was excellent, well mostly.

Day one was a little rough (as Megan can attest to because we were chatting when all hell broke loose tantrum-wise), but once Grace and I established our equilibrium (I'm in charge and won't tolerate badgering, but we can have a reasonable discussion if we disagree and come to a compromise), we had a great time. We just did simple local things - went to the CAS and took our time doing just a few things (and running into friends in the playroom). We took a trip to the library and I let Grace get as many books as she wanted. They barely fit in our bag and I could hardly carry it, but she was happy as a clam. We made a giant bowl of popcorn and watched a movie in the middle of the afternoon. We had impromptu outside playtime with the neighbors. We took her bike and a picnic to the park. It was in the 70s and fabulous (and we ran into some other friends - fun to bump into people not on our usual circuit).

We also planned a few Easter activities. Grace was SO. EXCITED. to dye eggs. I didn't realize that I took only the photo below. It is so fun to be able to start doing these activities with her. We also made Easter cookies. Grace ran the hand-mixer herself for the frosting and picked the colors. Oh, those cookies were so thoroughly frosted, but we had so much fun making them.

It was interesting to see how Grace's behavior changed when we had so much one-on-one time. She is a generally deeply compassionate and sensitive person with a marvelous sense of humor and deep curiosity. She is also very stubborn and strong-willed. Plus, being three and a half, whining is a key communication style (luckily, now that I have a term for the incessant whining and asking for the same thing again and again - badgering - I can label it and tell her it's not acceptable, and it seems to help). We have had a lot of conflict lately (my fuse is thislong and Grace is experiencing a lot of change), but seeing how incredibly delightful and cooperative she could be when she getting plenty of positive attention was a good reminder of how to up my parenting game. When I'm harried, I need to look for opportunities to involve her in household activities to which she can contribute and succeed. I need to set firm expectations about the important stuff, but not engage in any drama or escalation. I need to keep a hold of my temper.

I know the next few months will be capital h, Hard. Between the new baby, the move, being home full-time with two kids, Steve's insane schedule starting in July, establishing a whole new set of routines, leaving friends and everything familiar to Grace, and then adjusting to a new school, there will be plenty of cause for anxiety and acting out. It will not be easy to act on the lessons I learned, but I hope I can remind myself to keep trying. As a friend pointed out recently, even when we're not doing what we mean to, each day, each interaction we can keep trying.

Anyway, some pictures from our fun week...

I guess I was being slow... appreciate her ingenuity in getting the stool.

A quiet moment.

Easter egg master.

She is getting so confident on her bike and really starting to enjoy it. She even told me not to follow her after a while so she could ride to the basketball hoop by herself.